Mixed Feelings

 don't get me wrong,

i still celebrate my dad

his wisdom, his hard work,

the hours he spent

teaching me to play ball,

to defend myself, to forgive.

but

father’s day

is a sad day for me

remembering good times

seeing the joy in his eye when Joe could

swim and ride a bike for the first time,

camping trips,

bedtime stories, holidays,

his sense of humor.

for nineteen years,

father’s day was a celebration of 

being ‘Joe’s Dad’.

(really, a celebration of my son)

for twelve years,

father’s day has been

a somber reminder of his absence. 

how many years will it take

to learn to celebrate father’s day

without Joe?

© 2024